Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Writing sample

WALT:  Entertain

Description: We read the poem “My Remarkable Journey” which inspired us to write our own remarkable journeys about why our homework wasn’t at school today. 

I was at school the bell was just about to go our teacher mrs lamo well her real name is mrs brown. But she said its time for us to grab our homework and go. we always get to go 5 minutes early so I can go do something cool like rock climbing our something like that. I grab my homework and then I fall over at the parking and land in a push up position. I get back up and looked for my homework then I saw it and grabbed it I walked to the car and jumped in. We got home and there was a giant he was as blind as a guy with no eyes. He said "I can't see anything I am blind but I can hear really good" you could see it in his eyes are really red. SUDDENLY!!! BOOM the giant shot a gun and my mum died. I ran as fast as I could but I fell in a hole and it led to school.

We decided that a quality piece of writing has the following things. Reflect on whether these things are in your story:
Introduction: It hooks the reader in the first few lines making them want to read more 
Punctuation: Is your writing ready for a reader? Does your punctuation make it easy for them to read?

Short sentences: Do you create suspense by using these in your writing?

Onomatopoeia: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Alliteration: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Similes/Metaphors: Are these in your writing to create impact?

1. What do you think is the best part of your story? The bit when the giant shots the gun randomly.

2. What was the hardest part about completing this portfolio sample?  The writing because I looked at my book and then over and over again.

3.  Next time, what is a goal you can work towards? Have more good ending

Feedback/Feedforward: cooper you did well I think you could make some more similes. #Maraki

1 comment:

  1. Cooper, Good reasons for not having your homework, hope you can use them one day (Not at RSS) Next time think about using paragraphs in your writing and extending your ideas to make your writing longer.